THIS IS US!
Howie and Candice
Howie and Candice
We’re the authors of WARNING. NEVER. EVER. using pen names, because we couldn't use our real names. We live with humans and that's how we got hold of the manuscript of our book. (It’s tempting to show them cats are smarter than humans, but we still need to eat.)
Why and how we published our book is a bit of a long story, so we included it on the Author's page in the book.
Howie Doinn
Candice B. Furreal
But trust us. We had a really, really, really good reason for publishing the book. It's really quite simple:
No book sales = No money = No cat toys or treats
Just so you know, we’ve already tried other ways to make money:
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We can’t have a bake sale, NO THUMBS. And, we can’t use the oven.
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A car wash won’t work because WE HAAAATE WATER and, again, NO THUMBS.
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We can’t babysit, because STILL NO THUMBS; we have claws; and no one trusts us with their kids. (We tried babysitter ads. No one replied.)
Most importantly, we would really appreciate your support of our new business as authors.
And now we're starring in our own story, "The Saga of Mr. Squirrel, Cookie and Angel".
Well, it's a prequel to starring in our friend's new book, The Adventures of SUITCASE.THE.CAT.
He said he'd try to help us get more cat toys
and cat treats. We're still counting on our WARNING.NEVER.EVER. book proceeds.